I substitute teach and I am also enrolled in Calculus II and I often have to go right from work (in one town) to my calculus class in another town. It is usually a 20 minute drive on the freeway. When I arrive at my university I often feel the little twinge in my abdomen that signals that my kidneys have produced enough urine to fill my bladder. In other words, I have to pee (or make water, urinate, etc…). After paying for the privilege of parking my automobile I wander into the building in search of one of my usual, er, de-watering holes.
Such was the case on Monday (March 2) afternoon. I was in the loo, standing at the urinal, removing metabolic wastes when in walked another gentlemen. This was not unusual as I was in a public, multi-stall facility. Also not so unusual was this gentleman’s ( a term I use very lightly…) act of speaking on a cellular telephone he had wedged between his ear and his shoulder. Many young people today enjoy using cellular telephones or ‘cellphones’ to communicate with one another. I was fully expecting him to say:” I will call you right back.” or “hold on, I have to pee, I will call you right back.” Whatever the combination of the particular words I was expecting him to hang up his phone…
He shattered all of my expectations as he wandered up to a nearby urinal (not the adjacent one…) and began to relieve himself without even a pause in his conversation! I was a little perplexed… I had heard of people using cellphones while sitting on the toilet, often with one hand free, but I did not think that I would actually encounter someone talking on a cellphone, wedged between shoulder and ear all the while standing at a urinal… An activity, I might add for my female readers, often requires two hands. He merrily ( I assume merrily as he was speaking in a language that was not english) continued his conversation, zipped, made a show of washing his hands, and then walked out the door…
Astounding! was the best term that came to my mind. Never mind the feat of balancing a tiny cellphone on his shoulder whilst he peed, he did not even have the courtesy to his listener to stop talking while he did his business. Unfortunately he was speaking non-English, so I do not actually know what he was saying, but I venture to guess that the conversation would have taken two distinct paths depending on the gender of the person on the other end…
If the person on the other end was a male, I imagine the call sounded like this:
“Dude! I am totally like talking to you while I pi@$…”
“No way, I am like totally like doing the same thing!!!!!”
If, however, the other person was a female…
“What is that running water sound? Are you peeing while talking again?!”
“No, it is er, ah, the meditation fountain I am sitting near, contemplating how much I enjoy my feelings with you…”
Of course these are gross stereotypical oversimplifications, but I am confident in my prediction…
So what? Simply this: If you are sitting on a toilet and have the urge to text a pal, I guess you have to do what you have to do… Please do not make an audio call from a washroom while in the act of removing wastes from your body. It is wrong on so many levels… Plus you could drop your cell phone onto the urinal cake…
Mmmmmmmmmm urinal fresh…
Scott
