Linearizing and Differentials and all that Jazz…

In an effort to blog everyday, I bring you this. We need to stop killing each other over petty and ultimately insignificant differences. Life is an amazing thing, and it could possibly be found only on Earth… it is possible. So we need to stop our petty squabbles and let life rule. Perserve life. Send life into the void of space. Learn to love instead of hate, laugh instead of firing off a burst of your assault rifle.

Cap’m Scotty

Where the slugs go…

The other day my wife, the wonderfully inquisitive women that she is, asked me where the slugs go for winter. I informed her that the answer to that particular question was fascinating and complex. I then preceded to tell her this…

Slugs are in fact far more advanced than most people know. To the average person in slug inhabited areas, they are just gross, slimy creatures that one must avoid stepping on and that eat plants and are generally a nuisance. To those that bother to stop and ask, a slug will in fact present that person with all manner of interesting tidbits and gems regarding the life of slugs. Admittedly, most of the talk centers around the consistency of their mucus or a bit of particularly tasty cabbage they had just finished off early that morning. If one is patient, and asks thoughtful questions, the slug will let on about the underground civilization of slugs.

You see, slugs are actually quite intelligent. Granted they only live a short time, but they have learned to pack a lot of living into that time. You must remember that slugs have been around for many millions of years, and have not changed much in that time physically, so they evolved mentally… They have also become quite adept record keepers, meticulously storing the things that they learn, so that future generations can carry on the work. As a result, the slugs rival us in many technological advances. In others, they surpass us. Slugs maintain small, but highy automated cities deep in the crust of the earth. During the summer, the baby slugs and the old timers (those that have lived one year already) travel through secret passages worn smooth through eons of polishing by slug mucous. They then spend the season lolling about the surface, eating and mating and going about their sluggy business as we expect from them. Then, as suddenly as they appeared in the spring, they are gone. They make the trek down those long tunnels, pulling cocoons of eggs with them and return to their cities.

In the warmth of those underground cities, they tend their machinery, ensure the young hatch and are tended to, and say the final farewells to those that left the mortal coil. They spend the winter warmly nestled away, waiting to emerge into the sunlight of the surface.

I will not describe the details of the cities as they were described to me. I will leave that to you. Remember, just because a creature appears gross, or icky, or hairy, or disgusting, does not mean that it does not have a fascinating story. Stop and ask them.

Cap’m Scott

Erp, Nurble, Bloobat, Sig

Now, with a title like that, you must be expecting something completely wild, crazy, interesting and exciting. I have to dissapoint, it is MY blog afterall, what were you expecting? The days go on much as they have this past age. I was at work last night until 11ish, and then I came home. Before that school, and you know the rest.

We are having people over tonight to partake in a mass devouring of roasted poultry and a variety of denatured plant proteins and starches. It will be much fun.

I should go maketh the coffee and get my self going, the stats, calculus, bio and chem will not do themselves

tata
scott

In My Opinion… Wait, this whole blog is my opinion…

Greetings most humble and loyal readers. I must be brief, for I go to gird my loins ere I battle Calculaeus, Demon of the Limits of Integral, Holder of the Derivatives and Infinite Tangents.

It is a battle I greatly fear, and one that I have little hope of winning. I will do my best, and fight for freedom of all function loving fractions. If the great beast should smoteth me, than I shall arise, re-gird my loins, and rejoin battle next semester.

There is not much to tell of my previous skirmashes with the foul beast, and at times, we even found ourselves getting along. It and I have an uneasy relationship, but I still hope to one day capture the dread imp and force it to do my bidding. When that day comes, I will no longer be unable to solve problems involving slopes of tangent lines to points, and dastardly areas under curves. That day, the world will be mine….

MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Alas, I can no longer share my mad ravings, for I must go tilt at windmills and study, er that is, prepare my armour of LimitLaws and my Pencil (it is far more mightier than any sword) and prepare to battle Calculaeus…

May the Leibnitz be with you

Scott

WAH

You know that part in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, when Kirk is all mad at Khan cause Khan just like, totally pwning the enterprise, and he yells “KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!” and its like the sweetest Kirk-line ever?

Picture that, but it is me, yelling:

“CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLCUUUUULUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!”